By now you’ve probably seen the outlandish video of a South Philly woman going on a five-minute, vulgarity-laced tirade outside of Helium Comedy Club on Sunday night.
That woman is 28-year-old Colleen Campbell, a Temple graduate and former WPHL-17 reporter, who lost her job when the incident was posted on Facebook.
In an interview with Philadelphia Magazine, Campbell showed remorse for her actions, apologizing for berating a policeman and explaining that she may have been drugged that night, a claim which has not been corroborated.
Campbell is charged with resisting arrest, criminal mischief, and disorderly conduct, and is expected to face more charges after police say she assaulted the officer in an incident that took place after the camera stopped rolling.
Campbell has a June 13th court date, so we’ll see what happens from here.
What we do know is that the rant was an epic, all-time Philadelphia diatribe.
The video, shot by comedian Wil Sylvince, has close to two million views.
It looks even crazier when written out.
Campbell: “You guys are f****** d******. You wanna record that on tape? You’re f****** c*** suckers. I’ll take my seventy dollars and I’ll swallow … that you guys are f****** c*** suckers. Okay? I did not do s***. I stood there and laughed with the rest of the audience like I should, okay? I did not disrupt anybody. That guy, out there – which I can see these two guys – towards the end of the show, was mad because I said that his necklace looked like some a*** f****** beads.
Officer: “I just want you to take her. I just want you to take her.”
Campbell: “Or what? Or what? Or what mother f******? Lick my a******. How about that? F****** piece of s***. That’s why nobody likes police because you all …
Officer: “That’s okay ma’am, I don’t worry about that.
Campbell: “…idiots in this f****** town. (makes spitting motion). I didn’t spit on you mother f****** … (inaudible).
Bystander: “She tried to spit on me. She just couldn’t pull it off.”
Campbell: “Smell my shoe, b****.” (holding shoe in hand). You f****** pice of s*** scum.
The Campbell video ranks up there with the best of Philly rants.
Philly sometimes lands in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons. But they’re hilarious, and these rants are worth recognizing in light of the most recent high-profile diatribe.
Here are some of the best:
Bill Burr vs. Philadelphia
This dates back to 2006, when Burr and members of the The Opie & Anthony Show hit the road for the “Traveling Virus Comedy Tour.”
A rough crowd at the then-Tweeter Center booed several of the opening acts off stage, which resulted in Burr spending his 12 minute set obliterating Philadelphia.
“Ahh, f*** all you people. You know what you f****** losers? I hope you all f****** die and I hope the f****** Eagles never win the Super Bowl. Go f*** yourself. F*** all of you mother f******* and f*** the Flyers.”
Frank Rizzo vs. Channel 3
This is the famous exchange between the ex-Philly mayor and Stan Bohrman, a KYW reporter. I actually worked with the photographer who shot this video, a guy named Greg who is now enjoying a well-deserved retirement.
Anyway, this was 1980 and Rizzo was no longer mayor. CBS had learned that Rizzo might be having uniformed police officers do chores around his home, which was basically a big waste of taxpayer dollars and man power.
Stan Bohrman: “Can we talk with you for just a moment?”
Frank Rizzo: “No, I’m busy.”
Bohrman: “You couldn’t answer any of our questions?”
Rizzo: “I wouldn’t talk to you under any condition.”
Bohrman: “Why is that, sir?”
Rizzo: “Forget it. Scram. Get outta here.”
“Don’t tell him what to do.”
I’m still not entirely sure of the context surrounding this incident with Axl Rose at a 1991 Guns N’ Roses show. I believe Axl is upset with a fan who tried to get on the stage and had to be physically restrained. You hear Axl talking about stage diving in the second half of the clip.
“We’ve got a couple of major a******* down here.”
Alycia Lane Goes In On A D*** b****
Lane, the former CBS 3 anchor, allegedly punched a police officer in the face during a New York City episode.
That was just one incident in a saga that also included a scandal with former co-anchor Larry Mendte, who pleaded guilty to hacking into Lane’s emails.
“I’m supposed to be the franchise player.”
An all-time press conference from an all-time Philly athlete.
Today, coincidentally, happens to be the anniversary of Allen Iverson stepping over Tyronn Lue in game one of the 2001 NBA finals. The Lakers, of course, would go on to win the next four games. Lue now has a ring as a player and a coach, so go figure.
“We sitting here.. I’m supposed to be the franchise player and we in here talking about practice. I mean, listen, we talking about practice.. not a game, not a game. We talkin’ about practice.”
“You better get out, right now.”
Tirades aren’t just for young people. We need to respect our elders’ ability to harangue.
In this scenario, we have some folks trying to settle a parking dispute involving a handicapped space. Parking arguments are as much a part of the fabric of Philadelphia as anything that happened in 1776.
“I can video too.”
“So what? This is not a private property.”
Jahlil Okafor vs. Boston fans
If only Jah showed this much physicality and passion on defense.
“We got money you broke a** n****!”
Crazy Subway Girl
This one didn’t happen in Philly, but I’m gonna throw it in here anyway. It gets an honorable mention as one of my favorites, an incident that took place on Atlanta’s MARTA about ten years ago.
“You thought I couldn’t freestyle on you, boo? You owe everyone an apology for your s***, h*.”