There’s no shortage of people looking to capitalize financially on the city’s Super Bowl fever. If it’s Eagles green or has an Eagle on it, it’s for sale.
I decided that combing through all these items was a valuable way to spend time, and I was right. There’s a ton of awesome stuff for sale.
Consider this the Super Bowl edition of our Philly Craigslist roundup with some Amazon sprinkled in. There’s just three guidelines to help you through this list:
-Each item (with the exception of the one based in Los Angeles) can reasonably be acquired.
-All of the item titles link out to the original ad or product page.
-If you buy any of these things, please email or tweet me (@mjspv).
That’s it. Now, these are the ridiculous, weird, lovely things you can buy to cheer the Eagles on as they head to the Super Bowl.
Asking Price: $3
For the price, this is actually kind of a steal. On the back, it says “Saint Nicholas Foles Grant us a Ring Amen,” which is a grammatical mess, but the message is clear: if Nick Foles brings a Super Bowl title to this city, he will be regarded as a deity.
You know what video I’m talking about. This one:
— Fanatics View (@fanaticsview) January 22, 2018
You can grab this now iconic mask quickly from Amazon Prime, and (hopefully) recreate this moment after a win on Sunday.
Asking Price: $6,000
Look, you could make the case that this would be a stupid purchase, but you would be wrong. I never knew I needed a motorcycle with a custom Eagles paint job, but I do. I really do. Most people, when they think of motorcycles, think of an open highway and the wind at their back, but not me. I think about wearing an actual Eagles football helmet and cruising this bad boy around Northeast Philadelphia or South Philly after the Eagles bring back the Lombardi Trophy.
Asking Price: $10
These were allegedly found in an old warehouse. There are 28 available. If you drive from Philly to South Brunswick to pick up one of these “lucky trolls” for 10 bucks, I would never question your Bird love.
Try to convince yourself you don’t need to halve your Super Bowl cheesesteak with one of these.
Asking Price: $65
Almost everything on this list is unnecessary, but this one is extra unnecessary and that just makes me want it more. The seller is getting a little greedy with that price point, though. I bet this probably inefficient camping equipment could be had for $40 tops.
Asking Price: $10
Talk about a niche item. If you know an Eagles fan named Steve who appreciates amateur wall art, you’re (finally) in the right place.
Asking Price: $19
For less than the cost of parking at the Linc, you can have two of these mildly offensive mugs. Remind yourself about how the Minnesota Vikings are “a bunch of sad … sad little girls” every single day, first thing in the morning.
This thing is ridiculous. Branding a football team on a crock pot is, on a basic level, the same as putting Eagles wings on a microwave or coffee maker. That being said, this thing is low-key awesome and someone you know probably already has it.
Asking Price: $3800
Ok, so you can’t quite afford the motorcycle, but can’t give up the impulse to buy a new Eagles-themed vehicle. We’ve all been there. Drop a few grand and ride in style with this pretty generic golf cart that has a couple of Eagles decals on it.
Asking Price: $80
I’m like 98 percent sure this thing is fake. I still want it.
Asking Price: $300
The best part about this item, and the only reason it’s on this list is the amount of personal details this guy includes. He apparently lives in Las Vegas but used to live at Delaire Landing, an apartment complex in Northeast Philadelphia, just south of Bensalem. Everyone in Philadelphia knows him as “CHEVYEDDIE,” and if the Eagles win the Super Bowl, he’ll be flying back for the parade wearing a Carson Wentz jersey and some other hat that he described in nonsensical detail.
Asking Price: $5 per shade
This seller claims to have $40,000 worth of window shades in Eagle green. If you think hard enough, you can figure out something to do with them.
Asking Price: $15
This looks like The Simpsons, The Eagles, and PEZ got together to collaborate on a project and just totally mailed it in. There are far worse ways to spend $15 though.
When it comes to giant inflatable Eagles lawn ornaments, it’s either this or the generic white guy football player. Given the two options, I’d pick the helmet, but no one should ever buy either of these.
Asking Price: $269
This actually made the original Philly Views Craigslist post. That was several months ago and this siamese mannequin still hasn’t sold. There’s a reason no one wants to spend nearly $300 on this thing. It’s creepy as hell.
I don’t know why this was made.
Asking Price: $5,000
Sure, you can drop $5,000 on this domain, or you can pay under $12 and search for some other soon-to-be classics, like cottmanandfrankford.com, jeffgarciababy.com, philadelphiaiggles.com, or folesadelphia.com.
Asking Price: $20
Someone seriously thought: “The Eagles are going to the Super Bowl. What a perfect time to post this jersey of a guy who played a couple of average seasons for the Birds from 2007 to 2009.”